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Help, My Child is Struggling but I Can't Help Him/Her Up!


Helllllllllp, my child is failing, and I can’t help him/her up! Unfortunately, this is the despairingly, silent cry of many parents as they are doing their best to raise their child(ren) in a highly competitive, standardized test driven, ever changing educational climate. The sense of helplessness, hopelessness and inadequacy form a trifecta to paralyze most parents of failing or struggling students. According to www.dictionary.com , the word paralyze is defined as to bring to a condition of helpless stoppage, inactivity, or inability to act. However, it is important to note that a paralyzed parent is no longer of any use to his/her child(ren).


Listen carefully! Lend me your ears! Your child(ren) cannot afford to have you paralyzed. Do not discontinue your pursuit of solutions. I believe that all children are born with at least one unique quality that will allow them to experience success and to become a productive member of society. You too, should hold on to that. There are countless stories of children who have experienced extreme academic, social and/or emotional challenges but overcame them with the help of their parent(s) making decisions to push them into options for success.

Notice, I said options!!! As your child enters adolescence and adulthood, they are more aware of the fact that they have options for success. One such example of a parent with a ‘failing’ student who made decisions to provide options for their child is Debbie Phelps, the mother of Michael Phelps (USA Olympic Gold Medalist). As a child he was diagnosed with ADHD and struggled academically. Click on the link to hear his mother’s testimony https://youtu.be/lQ_CY8qVEVQ. Another example of the possibility of success beyond struggles in childhood is that of Whoppi Goldberg, who was diagnosed with dyslexia. Here is a brief video of Whoopi Goldberg speaking on dyslexia https://youtu.be/IMBDPOXbAHo


Hopefully you were able to receive some encouragement from viewing the videos above. Here is my simple advice to help you avoid &/or come out of parental paralysis.

First and foremost, stop and breathe, as in inhale and exhale! No, seriously, right now, take a deep breath, slowly. If necessary, take 3😊.


1. Resolve – Resolve that there is help and hope for you and your child(ren).


2. Recharge – Plug into your thoughts of hope, thoughts of the good things about your child. Just like you must recharge your cell phone/tablet, do the same for you and your child(ren).



3. Reassure – Reassure yourself and your child(ren) of the positive traits that he/she has. Do this with them right before they go to bed and let it be the last thing they hear you say before they go to school. Well, make it the 2nd last thing. The last thing they should hear before bed and before school from you is, “I love you” 😊


4. Research – Research through friends, teachers, google searches, leaders who you respect, doctors, etc. various options that will assist you and your child.



5. Recommit – Recommit to not allow parental paralysis to invade your relationship with your child(ren).



The truth is that although your child is failing now, he/she can arise and you are a conduit of his/her uprising! As you well know, life has ebbs and flows, highs, and lows. There are seasons of success and times of failure. We experience the exuberance of victory and the distress of defeat.


The key to you and your child’s holistic success is endurance through love. There was a wise philosopher/king who once said that the race is not given to the swift not even the strong, but it is given to the one who endures until the end. Let love cover the mistakes and missteps that you and your child(ren) may have made as you all endure to receive the prize attached to his/her/your/their individual race.


This blog was written by Author Charisse Allen, founder/establishmentarian of (soon to come) Parent Education & Advocacy Group, a non profit organization that provides parenting education, professional consultations, and advocacy with teachers, administrators, and/or board members. We represent you on behalf of your child, Bridging the Gap Between Parents and The Educational System.


©2018 Charisse Allen All Rights Reserved

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